Mastering Inner Strength: How to Let Go of People Who Drive You Crazy
Here he was again, meeting the person who drives him crazy. Just their presence made him want to go ape shit. There are so many people who drive him crazy, but this one takes him to a whole other level. When will his peace come back? What did this person do? He didn’t know, but one thing is for sure - he didn’t want to be around them anymore.
We all have that one person who drives us crazy. It could be family, someone you work with, or someone who hangs out with your friends. These people are in your life to teach you - to teach you how to be present. Everyone has someone who triggers them, and the question is how will you respond?
Part of gaining inner strength is responding instead of reacting. Meditation teaches you to do this. When you notice getting angry, that means it’s time to let go. Loosen the grip of your anger and release it from your body. No feeling is permanent. This person is not going to make you feel permanently unhappy or angry. Knowing this, realize that the anger is only hurting you. When we are angry, we are just adding gasoline to the fire in our heads and hearts. It is your thoughts that are actually making you feel uncomfortable.
So, how do we let go? How can we just drop the rope of this tug of war match? It’s much easier said than done, but it’s certainly not impossible. Everything is difficult without practice. So, what can we do?
Once you notice you are getting triggered, relax behind the emotions. These emotions are making you feel more and more pissed off the more you dwell on them. How can you relax in the moment? You can do this by letting go. Pretend someone is offering you 1 million dollars just to drop it and forget about it. You would easily do this, so the ball is in your court.
Once you relax, get really present and focus your attention on the emotion. Notice where that emotion exists in your body and feel it completely. As uncomfortable as this is, do not run. Sit with it and realize that the emotion is not dangerous. It will not kill you. It’s just uncomfortable. When it doesn’t feel good in our body, that's when we want to escape. We can escape it with a video game, maybe some Netflix, that cigarette, or even on that booze cruise. The problem with this is that you're running away from your emotions, and you’re not facing the issue. You are running from your problems and not processing your emotions.
Going back to what I said before, just sit with it and eventually it will release. The reason we don’t want these emotions to store in our body is that this creates blockages - energy blockages that get trapped in your body. When more and more of these blockages build up, we feel worse and worse in our body. When we resist the present moment, it enlarges the magnitude of these blockages as more and more get added.
So, sit behind your thoughts and don’t get pulled away from the present moment. When we pull away from the present moment, that’s when suffering will accrue. For example, have you ever thought you were going to win something because you were up in a game? You got too cocky. Maybe you started fantasizing about being the victor of the game, and it took you away from playing the game well. You end up losing when you should have won, all because your focus broke in a snap.
Maybe it happens in something more regular, like paying attention to what your partner is saying. Maybe you miss a lot of it because you are lost in your head. You might not respond appropriately and make the situation 10 times worse.
Simply put, the message is not to get carried away by your thoughts. Your thoughts are what make the situation worse. Your preferences of how it should be, as opposed to accepting the situation for what it is, create unnecessary suffering. Always come back to center. Always come back to this present moment. This one right N:OW.
How will you respond? Will you react impulsively, or will you respond by letting go? The power is yours. You can do this. Change your life.