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The Power of Presence: Embracing Stillness to Improve Your Life and Relationships

The Power of Presence: Embracing Stillness to Improve Your Life and Relationships
So much of our days are spent worrying about being the best: the best at this, the best at that, all to impress our friends and onlookers. But when will we find the peace that resides in all of us? Perhaps presence is the answer instead of competition. Maybe it's when we surrender to the moment that we are at our best.

Think about it: when you worry about an outcome, how much better are you able to perform the task? Is it better than being in flow, where time moves slowly because we are enjoying every bit of it, flying in the air with our tongue out like Michael Jordan? Not all of us play basketball, but many enjoy watching sports. We are so enthralled by the moment because the players are deep in the present.

It's this presence that we are truly after. Perhaps with this presence, we can change the world. The world is moving in both good and bad directions, as Eckhart Tolle once said. It's bad for obvious reasons, but good because we are having open conversations about this subject, and we are interested. That is a good sign.

So how do we become more present? We must not get dragged away by our insistent thoughts - the thoughts that never leave us alone and will always be there. If that seems dim, just remember that we can improve the space between each thought and have the power to release them instead of getting dragged away the more we practice. It is a constant practice - noticing.

At the end of the day, we are all looking to become more aware. Awareness leads to better decisions and outcomes in our lives. That's why we may go to therapy or talk to a beloved friend. It's all there to build awareness and bring us closer to evolving into our best selves.

When we are not evolving or growing, we can feel the effects. The decisions that we make that we know are hurting us and our psyche never leave us alone. That one too many donuts in a sitting, that extra drink, not walking more, or cleaning that bathroom like you promised yourself a week ago. It's our promises to ourselves that define our level of happiness.

The Universe wants us to become the best versions of ourselves and will let us know when we are slipping. If you want to make a positive change in your life, focus on your promises. Did you say you were going to wake up earlier to have more time to go to work, but instead, you woke up at the last minute and were forced to rush? Give yourself the love and compassion we all need. We are human, and perfection doesn't exist, but we can strive to be perfect with self-compassion and knowing that we will slip. You can forgive that friend, so why can't we forgive ourselves?

Don't beat yourself up. We say stuff to ourselves that we would never say to our friends. Stuff that our friends would never rebound from, yet we say it to ourselves on a daily basis. You wouldn't be this hard on a friend, so why are we hard on ourselves? We should be our own best friend.

The best form of self-compassion is presence. Presence is love. Love yourself by practicing a state of being. When you are around people, practice deep presence where you do nothing but experience the stillness in the present moment as you focus with a clear mind, listening to what the person across from you has to say. Deep listening is the biggest gift you can give to someone else, and deep presence is the biggest gift you can give to yourself. Work on your presence. It will make you happier and those around you. Learn to just be.


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