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Overcoming Heartbreak and Growing Spiritually from Breakups

Overcoming Heartbreak and Growing Spiritually from Breakups
Dwelling on a past breakup can certainly make you as sour as Adam Sandler in the movie Wedding Singer, but do you agree with him that love stinks? If we suffer one bad breakup, why do go searching for more? Isn’t one enough? Or do breakups leave us with more than just pain?


It’s a tough realization to accept that any relationship can come to an end either today or thirty years from now. The only thing that remains constant during that time is ourselves. You are stuck with yourself until the day you die, so it’s important that we love and value our spiritual evolution over any relationship. When all things come to an end, you can be proud of the relationship you created. You can be proud of everything it took in order to become the person you are now. Going through the motions of doing all the things your partner wants is hard and emotionally draining. Especially the tasks that you don’t want to do. It’s important that you chose to do those things to make your partner happy and learned from your lessons along the way.

Each lesson forms you into a greater human being if you utilize the information learned. Life’s currency lies within the lessons and they make the aftermath of any relationship worth it. Some relationships aren’t meant to be, but the spiritual transformation that took place was meant to happen. Dealing with the relationship’s hardships could have been so difficult, but the important thing is that you gave it your all. With that your left with no regrets. In the Celtics basketball team weight room they have a banner that reads,

“What hurts more, the pain of hard work or the pain of regret?”
During the relationship, little white flags will spring up and it’s your job to breakthrough each one so you can transform as a person. Keep pushing forward until you become closer to the person you know you can be. The only way to properly transform is by dealing with each problem and internalizing the truth of each lesson. Sometimes these differences we have are small and other times they are very large, but you can’t let either one of them stop you. You will naturally feel emotional charges of qualities you resist about the other person. You have to be fearless and establish effective communication to break down these walls. You have to speak the unspoken in a loving manner so that these resistances don’t turn into resentment. You must confront these problems head on so that you can grow spiritually. Sometimes these differences can get you feeling that love stinks, but you will later feel rewarded having pushed through. Tony Robbins said in this Youtube video

“One of the things that happens in relationships is if we don’t realize that what we are attracting in the other person that we think is so different from us, is just another part of ourselves that were not actively utilizing. If you don’t use your partner to trigger that awakening inside yourself, eventually you resent them because you resented a part of yourself that was being shut down.”
The beauty of healthy relationships is that they motivate you to become a better version of yourself. You have to be willing to accept the challenges that arise though. Some couples drag each other down because they can’t deal with the pain brought on from mending their differences. When you feel unwilling to push through the pain of an uncomfortable situation remember Elliott Hulse’s quote,

“A life without pain is a life without challenge. And a life without challenge is a life without growth. So not only do I embrace the challenge and embrace the pain associated with challenge and growth, but I even look forward to it in many regards.”
When you push through the pain you will be grateful to have learned all the valuable lessons that will help you later on in your life’s journey.

Don’t let one relationship stop you from the next one. Each relationship will bring you closer to yourself and to the person you’ve always dreamed of. The more you give in each relationship, the less you will regret later on. The less you regret the easier it will be to overcome the failing relationship. It’s important that you realize that no relationship is a failure unless you refuse to learn the lessons that came with them. It’s all about our spiritual evolution. Hold on to the lessons along the way because they are the most sacred things here on this planet. If you still think love stinks that’s regret and that’s on you.


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